Space Melons!!

Limon
San Francisco, CA


Ridiculous.

This place is packed. I'm not entirely sure why, because it's Tuesday...but none the less I went with some friends for tapas. For them, it was dinner. But for me, it was more to quench the dingy feelings of aggravation from the events that happened to me prior in the day. But that's neither here nor there.

While we were waiting for the rest of our party to show up, we were lead downstairs to start on a pitcher of sangria while waiting. Like most pitchers of ANYTHING, the one turns into two. The two turns into three at the table, and the three blossoms to a sweet and fruity four, for good measure.

Half chicken consumed and no trace of tropical panna cotta in sight, it's time to respectively bid this place fuckin' adieu.

On the way up and out, I caught this...let's call it, monstruosie. 

What's with these melon planets? Did someone that works at Pixar used to be a line chef at Limon and decided to spit out a little creative funk on the walls? Did Limon steal these from a home decorators truck while he was frantically staging a home that he needed to sell in order to make his numbers?

I don't know, but I was laughing really hard on the way out of the restaurant that night. 

Disproportional San Francisco Souvenir

Blackbird
San Francisco, CA


Ahh, my little neighborhood birds nest.

While sitting at the door; while holding what may or may not have been a flask of some kind of whiskey, I was pleased to see that yet again, Blackbird had changed their art series. And this one was good.

An ultra-magnified nostalgic photo realistic keepsake that comes in a matchbox.
This series of paintings are boxes of matches from restaurants and bars around the city.

This one is for Zim's burgers and hot apple pie, which was open from 1949 to 1995.
Next to it is a matchbook piece from Bimbos 365, a music venue that still exists in North Beach.

These pieces are huge, and there are a few of them. The artist really did a great job making them seem real. As if someone would try to strike a match with a piece of wood that big. Please.

For some reason, I didn't make it to the back of the birdhouse that night.

I'll be sure to snag a peek at the rest of them sometime soon. 

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Buck With Two AK-47's

Madrone Art Bar & Lounge
San Francisco, CA


Honestly?

One of the most memorable pieces I've ever seen.
I'm fairly sure that the first thing I said whilst gazing upon this beauty:
"I WANT IT."


Your eyes do not deceive you, friends. For it is a buck with two golden AK-47's for antlers.

With so much art in an art bar, I would usually have such a hard time trying to decide what to focus on? It really is like a splattering of ADD all over the place. Given the fact that people in my generation have the attention spans of heavily medicated flies, it seems to fulfill its purpose.

What really tickles my funny bone about this is its parallels.

Its like...what if you're sitting at home watching Bambi with your little cousin. Everything is wonderful and happy. You know that the worst part isn't until the forest burns down, and that's later. So you have nothing to worry about. You check your Facebook the kid is completely absorbed by the little wimpy deer.

You glance up, and see that a swollen biceps Bambi now wields two AK's, a lit cigar in his mouth, sunglasses and a bloody cloth wrapped around his head while he runs full speed into the burning forest firing every bullet he has.

Oh, and its all in slow motion.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love the contrast. The buck is so regal. Such a sign of nature.
And the golden guns?

Well, those are human. 

"I'm not confusing, I'm just drawn that way"

Olive
San Francisco, CA


It's safe to say by now, I'm hammered.

A mushroom and truffle oil pizza, cucumber one, two old fashions, two shots of Bulliet Burbon, a Stella Artois and three cigarettes later, I am in a daze.

My eyes are glazed over, as everything is way funnier than it should be. Low lit candles cast a glow on peoples faces. The low rumble of the bar is only interrupted by the occasional clanking of glasses from every which way. Accents of light draw your eyes to certain points of the room, and it's comfortable. Gazing.

As we saunter to the bar to pay our whoppin' grand total, I see an ink blot posted on the wall above. I can't make heads or tails (yet again) on what it is.

I suppose I should do more Sudoku or something.

It was until my friend Nicole told me it was a woman that I ALMOST grasped  it. My brain ended up helping itself, and I saw the big picture. Pretty anticlimactic if you ask me. Splash some color on her or something...

It reminded me of Jessica Rabbit meets Tawny Kitaen...you know...the girl in the Whitesnake "Is This Love" music video?

Look it up later.

Childlike Blunder

Boxes on a wallside

Olive
San Francisco, CA

Modern surrilistic abstract, yet very subjective. 

All words credible in explaining the general substance of this piece. 

Although you can't tell from the photo, this portrait is huge. It hangs, brightly lit upon the wall at Olive, a locals bar nestled in the culturally diverse and exquisite in its own way, Tenderloin District.

That was a joke.

Olive is a swanky little escape from drug dealers and homeless people harassing you around the strip clubs up and down O'Farell. They always change the art inside, as the pieces are always available for purchase from local artists.

The Cucumber One. Gin, a little mint, lime, basil, cucumber water and a wheel. This is what I'm sipping on after a long Friday. I sip on my frothy drink and stare at this painting and can't help think about Cat.

Cat Butler, mutual friend of ours had painted 2 large portraits in this fashion. They are modern, surreal and calming to the glance. The other painting that hung on the walls for a long time (now no longer there) was a portrait of K.T. Lang / Elvis.

The jury is still out on which one it actually is...

Three Eyed Monkey Strikes Again

Monoloco

Antigua, Guatemala 

Something that strikes me as odd about Antigua is their uncommonly large ex-patriot community. Taking a stroll about the town more often looks as if Disneyland installed a new part of the park called "Central Americaland". The diversity of ex-pats and tourists is surprising, as it has shaped the city itself into a pueblo paradise. 


An American sports bar in Guate. It may sound like the premise for a TV sitcom, but in all honesty it very well could be. Monoloco is the gigantic two story home away from home for those homesick souls searching for solace at the bottom of a beer bottle. Flat screen TVs litter the walls of the bar, along with cartoon paintings of a monkey...well...monkeying around. 


So there I was, watching the Giants play 3,000 miles away when I see it. A joyful little monkey. Smiling at me and showing me his butthole, as if to say "Don't mind me, amigo! I'm just a crazy drunk monkey!". For some reason, I found comfort in that picture. In that bar at that particular time, I too was letting it all hang loose. Just like the monkey. Going with the flow, indulging and enjoying the good company of others.


But let's be clear, I did not follow the monkeys lead.


It's a metaphor...